For a long time, I thought trauma had to be catastrophic to count. Severe. Obvious. Loud.
But I’ve learned that trauma isn’t just about what happened—it’s about what stayed.
What stayed in your body.
What shaped how you protect yourself.
How you trust.
How you leave.
I’ve seen it in my own life, and I’ve seen it in others. A layoff that was never explained. A betrayal that was never named. A moment of loss or embarrassment that quietly rewired someone’s sense of safety.
For me, foster care taught me to stay ready, not get comfortable, and depend on myself. That overdrive helped me survive—and for a season, it helped me succeed. But later, I had to learn how that same survival strategy could limit connection, partnership, and shared leadership.
I’m grateful that God didn’t just help me outperform my trauma—He helped me integrate it. To ask:
What did this teach me?
And does it still need to run my life?
That shift—from survival to wisdom—changed everything.